1st July 2023: Part 1: When a loved one with dementia needs a care home; exploring the changed relationship.

When someone is living with dementia, at some point it might be necessary for that person to move into a care home for their safety and well-being. This is often a very difficult time for family members, who might experience a range of emotions from sadness, guilt and bereavement. These feelings may be coupled with a sense of relief and consolation that the person they care about is safe and cared for. In this vlog, we hear from Sally, who is a professional nurse academic, but in this case prefers to come from the perspective of ‘Shirley’s daughter’. Sally speaks about her mother Shirley, who was living with dementia and the decision that Shirley made herself, to move to a care home. Sally speaks of the wonderful person her mother was, and shares some of the emotional struggles she experienced as Shirley’s dementia progressed. Sally is joined in discussion by: Lesley Butcher, Senior Lecturer in Nursing at Cardiff University and founder of ‘A Person Like Me’ social care campaign; Karen Edwards, Specialist Facilitator, Dementia Learning and Development team, Cardiff and Vale UHB; and Dr Jane Mullins, Dementia Nurse Consultant and founder of ‘Finding the Light in Dementia’ The four provide different insights into the common experiences of people who often feel they have ‘lost’ the person through dementia. They discuss tips on how someone can develop a ‘new’ but changed relationship with their loved one, and how best to access support, during one of life’s most challenging times.

1st July 2023: Part 2: When a loved one with dementia needs a care home; exploring the changed relationship.

In part 2 of this vlog series, we hear more from Sally about her mother Shirley and her journey with dementia. We hear about her care home experience and explore some of the difficulties many families encounter. What happens if the person, living in the care home, changes their mind and wants to leave? How does this situation effect family dynamics? What if the relationship you had with your parent has always been strained or unhappy? Sally is joined by Lesley Butcher, Jane Mullins and Karen Edwards for the discussion.

1st July 2023: Part 3: When a loved one with dementia needs a care home; exploring the changed relationship.

In the third and final part of this vlog series, we discuss the emotional impact and loss surrounding a loved-one’s lived experience with dementia. Many people state “I lost my mum/dad/husband/wife years ago…” to dementia. While they have not lost the person, they do grieve for the loss of the relationship they once had. Others feel that when physical death does eventually happen, it is like a ‘second loss’. Sally shares what it was like for her. She had a close relationship with her mother and talks of losing that ‘wise counsel’ she once had before Shirley had dementia. She explains how she managed to carve out a new relationship with Shirley, that was fulfilling in a different way. We discuss dealing with emotions around end of life of a person we love. There is also some discussion around the complexity for some people who have had a historically difficult or even traumatic relationship with their family member. Sally, in conversation with Lesley, Jane and Karen, explore the support that is needed for families when their loved one has dementia.

Short preview of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ vlog series

This is a very short preview to the vlog series on Emotional Intelligence in care, recorded ‘in conversation’. In this short snippet, David Sheard, Professor of Emotional Intelligence in Care at York St John University, speaks to Lesley Butcher, Lecturer in Nursing at Cardiff University about the importance of developing emotional connections with others. Links are made to the health and social care industry and to the lessons learned from the pandemic that “Closeness Counts”. VLOG series will be released on 8th November 2022 to coincide with the Journal of Dementia Care Congress presentation.

Tuesday 8th November 2022: Emotional intelligence in care part 1: Simplicity and sophistication

In this vlog Professor David Sheard speaks to Lesley Butcher, of the ‘simplicity and sophistication’ of emotional intelligence and the value to being our authentic selves when working with others in healthcare settings.

David states that as human beings “we are only a flicker away from being vulnerable, in need, desperate”. Creating connections with others is essential. His approach to emotional care is: “I am not sat there as ‘Professor David Sheard’. I’m sat there as David Sheard who has had tough vulnerable moments in life that I would not describe and put out to every person, but what I would try and show is; that I know that flicker is very, very small between the person and myself”.

Tuesday 8th November 2022: Emotional intelligence in care part 2:                Close connections count

David discusses with Lesley how emotional intelligence relates to person centred care. He considers that the theory assumes that health and social care workers are emotionally intelligent and emotionally developed enough to deliver person-centred care. Whereas emotional intelligence is the underlying foundational requirement that needs to be present first. Healthcare staff should be enabled to develop this, but equally, they should be supported in a person-centred way themselves. David says, “People are not bottomless pits.” Particularly during the pandemic, staff were asked to give a degree of “inhuman emotional labour”, but where is the application of person-centred care back to staff?

Also addressed, is the unhelpful ‘suck it up’ culture. The use of ‘battle’ language and metaphors reflects a health and social care culture that is ‘still in the trenches’. This the opposite of emotional intelligence.

What we have learned from the pandemic is that humanity needed closeness. The health care system in the future is going to have to learn that lesson.

Tuesday 8th November 2022: Emotional intelligence in care part 3: Authentic, intuitive dialogue

In this third and final vlog within the series, David Sheard, Professor of Emotional Intelligence in Care at York St John University, speaks to Lesley Butcher, Senior Lecturer in Adult Nursing at Cardiff University about emotionally intelligent communication. Lesley describes a scenario involving a member of staff working in health care who is experiencing performance dilemmas. She asks David to comment on the various responses from management in relation to the situation. David offers advice on how managers can navigate difficult situations with staff members in an open, nonthreatening, emotionally intelligent way. He says “Being person centred has got to begin with a mutual reach. At least give the person the chance. A dialogue that is more person-centred and emotionally intelligent may bring about better results for everybody”. David emphasises, “staff are not units of work to be measured”. He states: “If we want staff to give validating, feeling-based responses that interpret the emotion behind the expression of need [for those we care for], but they don’t receive the same intuitive response about their own expressions, that dichotomy of ‘what we want you to give isn’t what you will receive’ is a recipe for a complete lack of congruence. That lack of congruence will cause workplace dissonance”

Monday 29th November 2021: ‘More than words’:

Consider the phrase ‘A word changes the meaning, the mood, and the motivation’. Words can be powerful and this is why we need to be careful with the terminology we use in care. In this ‘talking heads’ VLOG we discuss the dangers of ‘labelling’ people with the language we use in healthcare settings. We talk about how words can be linked to actions, and how you can lead by example to change this.

To be recorded and plan to publish June 2022: ‘Supporting staff emotionally’

Caring for people is not an easy job. It can challenge us emotionally as well as physically. Particularly as we have just come through Christmas, we think about those who have worked, caring for others instead of spending time with their own families. In this ‘Talking Heads’ VLOG we discuss the emotional labour involved in care work. We consider how what we carry ourselves psychologically, can be triggered by situations in care and impact on how we are able to care for others.

Monday 25th April 2022

To be confirmed….

Monday 30th May 2022

To be confirmed….